


Crying, Coughing in The Bathroom

by imflyinblind



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen, Michael has 2 moms, Other, Ugh, hes filipino its my hc ok, i fucking cried when writing the flashbacks in chapter 2, iM SO SoRrY hhahAHHAAHh, im gonna die tomorrow then, im so sorry i was bored kay, its like 11 pm and i have to wake up at 6 am but eh, vent - Freeform, yey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-01-06 18:57:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12216933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imflyinblind/pseuds/imflyinblind
Summary: Michael dies in the fire ... SORRY IM IN THE MOOD FOR VENT BUT I CANT FIND OTHER FANFICS FOR SATISFACTION kAY





	1. Michael's POV

**Author's Note:**

> i am 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> not sry?

How could Jeremy be so stupid? Why the hell would he be fucking jealous?

 

_"And I thought Chloe was jealous..."_

 

That asshole.

Michael finds a razor in the medicine cabinet. It should ease the pain he's feeling, right? Michael watched as his skin was being sliced. The sting helped at least. Numb the pain. He still doesn't feel any better, though. As he was about to add another deep cut he heard a scream and dropped the razor. As he looked down to pick it up he realized how much blood he lost. But he was too tired of everything to care. He saw smoke coming in under the door as he picked up the razor.

 

"FIRE!" people screamed. 

 

Michael put the razor back and cleaned up the blood.

Fire... Does that mean he could just sit and let it do it for him? He wanted to die, so badly, he can't stand all the pain. He inhaled the smoke then immediately started coughing. But then he realized he can't just leave his moms, he was their only child, after all. He realized he didn't want this, so he scrambled up and covered his face, but not his eyes so he could still see. He reached for the door knob, but jerked his hand away as soon as he touched the metal. Right, fire. Heat. Metal. Bad idea. He kept coughing, then stumbled down beside the bathtub.

 

Was he really going to leave his family?

 

Michael decides that it is too late to do anything. No one would dare coming back to the flaming house just to save a  _loser_ like him.

 

_Get out of my way, Loser. Loser. Loser._

 

Michael covers his ears and suddenly he was finding it really hard to breathe. He was suffocating. He laid down the cold floor of the bathroom. It was already too late for him, why even bother? He inhales as much smoke as he could, before coughing too hard. Darkness was invading his vision, as he loses conciousness.

 

He didn't hear the desperate call for his name and the loud banging on the door. He just kept coughing. 


	2. Jeremy's POV and The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jerm was ass now jerm depressed shit now jerm regrets shit now jerm emo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ima try to post all 5 chapters today and tomorrow stay tuuunedd

"FIRE!!!" someone screamed.

 

Jeremy looked towards the kitchen and oh hey look, there's the fire.

He was able to squeeze through the crowds and made it to safety. He looks up and sees the fire eating up the entire house. He turned to go back home and immediately stopped when he saw it.

 

Michael's PT Cruiser.

Jeremy tried to find a familiar face with glasses. 10 minutes pass, but he still couldn't see Michael. What if he's still in the- Oh no. He shoved people out of the way and didn't hear the people screaming at him to not go in the house. He went up the stairs and could feel the stairs almost collapsing. He covered his nose so he wouldn't inhale any smoke, and banged on the door as hard as he could. Tears prickled his eyes he makes a sad attempt to scream Michael's name.

 

"M-Michael!!" No answer. Desperately, he tries to kick the door open, he knew the doorknob would burn him.

 

"Mi-Mic-Micha-el... le-Ple-ase, co-m out-" He coughed, and went back outside. When he reached the end of the stairs, it finally collapsed. He was too late. He tried calling Michael's cell.

 

Ring.

 

Ring.

 

Ring.

 

It picked up.

 

"MICHAEL?!! Please, where are you, I'm worrying and I swear to god- sorry, um I- are you outside? D-dude, please you're scaring me, even though I w-" He was interrupted by wheezing and coughing, and it made his stomach drop.

 

"I- pas-sed o-u-t man-y t-imes an..." Michael's weak and small voice trailed off, letting Jeremy hear the fire cracking on the other end. He started panicking.

 

"Michael?!?! Michael! Please, answer! Fuck." He hung up and went to the side of the house. There was... A ladder? He climbed up and was prepared for the smoke that would be released when he opens the window. He quickly opens the window, and waits a couple seconds for most of the smoke to come out. He gets in, and almost steps on... Michael. Michael! He picked him up and jumped down the window. Thankfully, he didn't hurt anything too bad. Just his back. Michael fell on him, but was still unconscious.  He picked Michael up bridal style. 

 

"Please don't die on me, Michael, please..." Jeremy begs, his voice cracking. The Ambulance and firemen already arrived, and the paramedics took Michael. He followed them inside the truck. He was surprised they didn't ask him any questions.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Time of death: 11:27 PM."

 

"W-what...?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Michael's gone. His player 1. Forever, gone. There's no way he can play videogames with him anymore. Get high with him. See his smile. Hear his laugh. God, Jeremy missed the sound of his laugh, How dorky Michael smiled when he was high or having fun, or when... Jeremy came to his house with his favourite slushie flavour when he was feeling ill.

 

 _"Jeremy, no fucking way." Michael smiles so wide._ The wide smile that Jeremy missed terribly.

 

_"Jeremy, yes fucking way." He responds, "Anything for my favowite pewsoonnn.:"  he hands Michael the slushie._

 

_"Y'know, I shouldn't be drinking anything sugary for my bad throat."  He chuckles._

 

_"Okay, I can just take it back-"_

_  
"Noooooo. I'll drink it. All of it. And you can't have any." Michael sticks his tongue out. He was really childish when he was sick._

Jeremy wipes his face. His mind played mental pictures of Michael being so happy, the happiest smile that showed his teeth and his tongue was sticking out slightly and his eyes were closed.

Why did he leave Michael again? Oh yeah, it was because he was selfish. All he cared about was popularity. Girls. Christine. But Michael, was there for him. Jeremy basically dragged him around, letting Michael comfort his tough times while Michael's own feelings were bottled up.

 

"C-can I... A-a-a-at le-ast... See hi-him...?" He asks. The nurse just looks at Jeremy with a pitiful look then nods. As he went in the room Michael's mothers come out crying. He immediately regretted asking. He knew his heart will completely shatter if he saw Michael. But he did, anyway and he was right. His heart was shattered into a million pieces.

 

His body was completely covered in burns and... scars? They did not look like burn scars they.. Oh no. And his ... disguise, was completely burnt. 'Creeps', the letters had big brown spots all over.

 

_"I know, this is why I am wearing this..." Michael gestures to his outfit, "...disguise..!!" He smirks._

 

Jeremy covers his mouth and kneeled beside the bed and starts sobbing uncontrollably. He holds Michael's hand, and it wasn't the warm, welcoming feeling anymore. It was cold, and stiff. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck i literally cried writing this


	3. Recover (P1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> huhuhuhuhgh

Jeremy really didn't know how to deal with this. He went up to Michael's house and got the spare key under the stairs. Michael's parents were never home anyways, so Jeremy didn't really have to worry about anything. He went down the basement and was immediately in the verge of tears. The smell was too familiar. He went to Michael's room, and saw grade 5 Michael and Jeremy. Was he hallucinating? Looking at a flashback?

_Jeremy looked pretty nervous, and was covering his eyes. He was kicking the air, impatiently waiting for Michael's present._

_"Okay, you can look." Michael says. Jeremy opens his eyes and brightens up immediately._

_"No way." Jeremy gasps._

_"Yes way."_

_"How much was this..?"_

_"Secreet." Jeremy playfully shoved Michael and adores his present - a bulbasaur plush._

Jeremy looked away, asking himself why is he seeing all these things. He left and went to see Michael's mini fridge to see if he had some mountain dew red. He was a little drunk from the alcohol he drank to mess up his squip. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheeks as he saw the worn down bean bags and all the mess around it with the controllers. Why hasn't Michael moved Jeremy's beanbag to the side?  _"Find the bad guy, push 'em aside! Then move on forward with your friend at your side! It's a two player game and when they make an attack, you know you gotta brother gonna have your back!"_ Jeremy could hear the both of them yelling together. Why was he dwelling on the past so much?

He turned and quickly made it over to the mini fridge, which still had the stickers on it from- Focus Jeremy, focus! The squip will be back when you're sober. Be quick. Jeremy scolded himself. He opened it and saw no mountain dew red. He sighed and tripped on something. When he looked down he was so relieved to see a 2L mountain dew red. He took and and ran up the stairs, not wanting to see anymore things that'll ruin his mood even more.

He went to the hospital to see Rich. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Dude, I found one." Jeremy pants.

"Wait really?! Gimme." Rich reaches out for it, but fails because of everything covering his arms.

"Jeez, wait. Let me open this thing first."

Rich just sighed, and Jeremy poured some mountain dew red on the cap.

"Why so little?" Rich tries to tilt his head.

"We probably don't even need this much." Jeremy says before making Rich drink some and did the same for himself. It's been 30 seconds, but nothing happens. Jeremy grunts.

"That wasn't enough." Rich deadpanned, while Jeremy was putting the cap back on.

"Bu- AAAAAAAGH?!" Jeremy screams, and Rich does too. Jeremy's head feels like someone with a hammer is hitting his head from the inside. All he sees are the nurses rushing in before he blacks out.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I'm suffering writers block send help


	4. Note?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The note Michael left was from a song hahaha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant write deep suic- wait just read the chapter. BE THANKFUL THE CHAPTER IS A LIL LONGR!1!!

He gained consciousness before Rich did. The nurses released him, offering he would take the wheelchair. He was about to stand up and deny the offer, until when he stood up, it felt like his legs were asleep. The painful tingling sensation caused him to fall back on the bed. Grimacing, he sat on the wheelchair with the help of the nurses. As he got out he had to push the wheelchair on his own, the staff didn't bother keeping him to wait for someone to pick him up, which he was thankful for. He just had a feeling he needed to go to the Mell residence.

 

He can't help it. It feels like Michael left something for him.

 

 _We really were connected, huh?_ Jeremy laughs to himself. He hopped down the basement after getting off the wheelchair. His legs felt fine. He's left wondering why the staff let him keep a wheelchair. As if he knew exactly what he was looking for, he finds a note under Michael's pillow.  _Note?_ He asks himself. The note had a title;

 _"The note I would leave if I killed myself" ._ Jeremy's eyes were as wide as saucers as he unfolds the note with care. The paper was bigger than he thought. Then there it was, Michael's familiar handwriting. He felt his eyes prickle with tears already as he braces himself. **A/N: BRACE YOURSELVES Y'ALL, EITHER YOU'D GET MAD THAT I COPIED FROM A SONG OR SAD THAT I COPIED OR YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE SONG IS.**

 

 

_"I always wore a smile for Jeremy. I was cheerful and happy for a short while. Now I'm getting older, things are getting colder. Life's not what I thought I wish somebody told me. I told him I was down, he let it slip by. So from then on I kept it on the inside. I told him I was alright but couldn't he tell I was telling white lies, couldn't he tell? He looked at my dull eyes. Tried to stop myself from crying almost every night, but I know there's no chance of feeling alright. Summer came by, all I wore was the hoodie he gave me, 'cause the cuts on my wrists are bleeding through, you see. I knew I was depressed, didn't want to admit it. Didn't think I fit it, everyone seemed to miss it. I carried on while he chatted happily with friends. Didn't think I had friends at school, all alone I sat. And if someone would notice my cuts I would blame the cat. But the cuts were no mistake, but he didn't care enough to save me from this self hate. Things were going down, never really up, so I told myself 'Just don't think, it'll be over soon.'  To my mom's;_

 

_I'm sorry Mama, Nanay, but this world is just not my place. I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in, I've come to realize this world's full of sin. There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. It's a disgrace, I was misplaced. Born in the wrong time and the wrong place. It's okay though, 'cause you'll see me soon. You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon. As it shines bright, throughout the night, just remember everyone's facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain I'm not a fighter. You'll get through the night, just hug your pillow tighter. So let the world know, that I died in vain. And the world around me is the one to blame. And I know, in a year, you'll forget I'm gone. Because I'm not something to be dwelled on. That's what Jeremy's friends would tell me, all those kids in school, so I'm going by law majority rules. My presence in this world isn't needed any longer. And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger._

_And Jeremy, you're the best friend, I ever had, such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember that you meant everything to me. And in my heart, you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go, I'm running out of space to write. And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight. I'm watching over you, from the clouds above. I'm sending down the purest and whitest dove. To watch over you, be my helpful eye._

_So this is it world, **Goodbye.**_

_**Written 2017-9-31** _

**A/N: idk th date when Jeremy had the squip, okay?**

 

 

Jeremy couldn't see. The tears were everywhere. He didn't know he caused Michael this much pain.

 

He messed up, bad. He wishes he didn't accept Rich's offer for the squip. He needs to show Michael's mom's, but it mentions his 'friends'. He didn't know Michael suffered depression. When he asked if he was alright, he would give the biggest, most genuine smile, he didn't think it would be fake.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see what i meaan ;-; the note has lyrics from a song and i replaced some words. COMMENT WHAT U THINK THE SONG IS!!!1 if you do know the song, don't judge, this song saved me from writers block okokok


	5. o shet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i fINISHEDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is ghost Michael's POV :))

This is it. A year after my death. 

I looked at everyone in my funeral. Some people I didn't even know. Do they actually care, or were they just dragged here? They weren't even crying. The thought would've made me mad, but I couldn't feel anything. I can't feel emotions.

 

\----

I know Jeremy had read my letter. I watched him read it. He keeps stopping by my room like he knows I had something left for him. Guess he knows me too well. As promised, I send the purest and whitest dove, to be my helpful eye. The expression on Jeremy's face would've made my heart melt, if it wasn't broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! Sorry that this chapter is short... :/


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